Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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