My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
