Please, let me fuck your mom
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
