he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
