you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Panties = found
Randomize
