i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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