it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
