he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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