The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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