Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
