she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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