i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
