Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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