Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
