i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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