if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
