My balls are so social today.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
