I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
