I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
