bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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