$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
