I am in a vortex of obligation.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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