Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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