we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
