i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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