I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
