So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize