Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
