We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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