To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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