Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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