I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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