The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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