There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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