Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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