I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize