I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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