As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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