Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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