Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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