Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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