I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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