Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
this hospital has no fireball
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
