Apparently you make a good broom.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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