you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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