So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
