no, he came in my armpit
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i think my cat just said my name.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
