I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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