i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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