Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
