Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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