I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
