I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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