I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
