That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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