Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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