I hate your face
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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