You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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