My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
