Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
